Fallen panda
Today was one of those days when you wake up and you’re not feeling well. A day when I used all my methods, multiple times. I meditated, did a little reiki energizing, practiced asanas twice—once with @anamartinalukic—went for a walk, bought the exact jeans I’ve been wanting for a long time, connected with people who uplift me, ate my comfort food, and watched a comforting series (Grace & Frankie; —don’t laugh, but Jane Fonda always lifts me up), made hot chocolate, and rewarded myself with an afternoon in my sweats with a gua sha treatment.
We often think, and we ourselves can get into this state, that we’ll discover the perfect method that will solve all our deep and painful processes at once and heal us instantly. It would be nice.
I’ve heard more than once how strange it is that I’m in a bad mood because I do yoga, so what’s the point of all those hours of meditation and physical exercise if I’m still sometimes angry, sad, endlessly irritable, something hurts, I feel like a block of stone—whether physically or emotionally, sometimes I’m euphoric (which isn’t exactly healthy either). Anyway, what’s the point of all this if I’m not already in nirvana?
I used to struggle with this myself. For example, when I’d achieve some blissful state, I’d fight tooth and nail to hold on to it as long as possible and not let anything pull me out of that bliss.
A special trick appears when you also teach yoga. Of course, you want to let your students know that it’s effective, but you also don’t want to give them false hope that achieving perfect life balance is easy. It’s easy to corner yourself here. Because it’s appealing to attract people by showing an ideal life, but unfortunately, that image can’t last for long. Why? Well, because it’s fake. But, we all love the feeling of being looked at with wide eyes or of seeing ourselves in others’ eyes as a little less of who we are and a little more of an “uber-person.”
Everyone has ups and downs. In other words, we’re all constantly balancing. And no, we’re not failures if after 10 years of yoga we still aren’t “flat line” and aren’t living in the ideal family with the ideal job and daily life. Falling panda, falling panda, falling panda
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